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Location: Sacramento, California, United States

Well, I'm about a hundred and fifty five years old and I'm DEAD! ...oh yeah, and I'm a chemist.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

What Luck!

Okay, so I went to bed early last night with my paper unfinished and the intention that I would get up early and work on it through the morning until it would be due in the afternoon.

So today rolls around and I wake up and look at the clock and its NOON! ...HOLY SHIT!

I immediately get to work on my paper and as my precious few minutes are slipping away I am realizing that I am going to have to cut it short and turn in my paper with huge chunks missing... SHIT!

At 2:10 the clock is counting down till my class begins at 2:30 and I am at least a 15 minute drive from campus. I hit the print button and what happens??? The printer is out of ink! ...SHIT SHIT!

I scramble through the drawers of my mother's computer trying desperately to find where she keeps the spare ink cartridges IF she even has any spare ink cartridges but I can't find any!... TRIPLE SHIT!

I dial the phone in the hopes that I can catch my professor and beg her to let me show up to class late (the paper is supposed to be due at the beginning of class) so that I have time to find a fucking floppy, find the fucking floppy drive itself, copy the fucking files to the fucking floppy, rush over to campus and print out the mother fucking paper!

Someone picks up, "Get me the professor! This is an emergency damn it!" I shout into the phone.

"I'm sorry the professor isn't here."

"But, but, but....!"

"I'm sorry, but no one is here right now because there is a campus-wide black-out, and I'm leaving now!" *click*

*dial tone*

. . . . . . . .

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!

I now have until THURSDAY to finish my paper!!

Thank you Murphy!! You hung me out to dry and then saved my sorry ass at the last minute! I have learned my lesson! I will never tempt you again!

32 Comments:

Blogger DaBich said...

You lucky bum! lol

May 09, 2006 6:35 PM  
Blogger CowGirl said...

Is that a horseshoe up your ass!? How lucky you are!

May 09, 2006 6:41 PM  
Blogger Mone said...

That sounds just like the kind of luck I always have in my life!
Take that lesson and finish your paper today!
You wont get a second chance ;-)

May 09, 2006 10:39 PM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

Today is a good day to go buy a lottery ticket...and then finish your assignment in case it was only a single dose of luck...

May 10, 2006 4:31 AM  
Blogger priscilla said...

haha this is wonderful:)

May 10, 2006 7:41 AM  
Blogger Polyman2 said...

You are one lucky dead guy-
and they say you only get
one chance.

May 10, 2006 12:36 PM  
Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

I'm chipping away at my paper right now. *sniff sniff* I envy you!!

May 10, 2006 3:07 PM  
Blogger ThomP said...

Did you use some sort of unconcious spiritual intervention. Did you ever think of just using the whole dead thing as an excuse? or is that getting old?

May 10, 2006 8:51 PM  
Blogger Roxi said...

amen

May 11, 2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Dabich:
You know, usually my luck stinks... isn't this weird?

Cowgirl:
*pulls horseshoe out of ass*
Gee I was wondering where I left that.

Mone:
Maybe some of your luck is rubbing off on me :)

Jane:
Knowing my luck, I just used up the last bit of it.

Pricilla:
Happy day!

Polydude:
Yeah too bad I can't be ALIVE with all this luck!

Dorian:
Yeah I'm not out of the woods yet. I still have finals, a research project to finish, and a week-long field class out in the desert to get ready for, all in the next two weeks!

Thomp:
Yeah, I've been using that "But I'm dead!" excuse for about seventy years now... no one really takes that from me anymore.

Roxi:
Talk about miracles!

May 11, 2006 9:02 PM  
Blogger DorianGray1854 said...

Yikes, I just finished eveything and am free for two days til I start summer class on monday. Good luck with the rest of your work.

May 12, 2006 7:51 AM  
Blogger josh williams said...

Murphy is seldom so meriful. Count yourself amoung the few, tell your children so they can tell their children and so on, do not let this lesson be forgotten.

May 12, 2006 1:33 PM  
Blogger Lindsey said...

Things like that never happen for me. I'd pray for snow days so I'd have extra time...didn't work.

May 12, 2006 5:51 PM  
Blogger shiftclick said...

GAWD I love how Murphy comes through ... but it's usually because Karma is kicking his ass. Karma's the one to thank, dearie.

May 13, 2006 6:48 AM  
Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

Luck had nothing to do with it. I sent magic rays to the home of your professor and they invaded his/her significant other with an irresistible urge for copious sex.

They stayed in bed all day screwing in order for you to have the extra time you needed, darling.

Voof!

May 13, 2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Dorian:
Phew! Thank god we are allowed breathers here and there. Good luck to you too.

Josh:
I am very much among the few and I will never count on that happening again!

Linny:
Heh heh, if it snowed here I'd be too freaked out by the fact that it actually snowed to even think about doing any kind of work :)

ShiftClick:
Karma? Really? And here I was thinking I must have been a dictator in a previous life to deserve all the horrible things I've gotten in this life no matter how good I've been in this life... maybe I finally paid off my cosmic debt.

Erin O'Brien:
Heh heh heh, my teacher must have arranged for the power to get shut off so she could stay home all day and screw! Erin, you really can work magic!

May 14, 2006 5:57 PM  
Blogger Zen Wizard said...

That was sort of a "double/inverse Murphy," or something...

May 14, 2006 6:46 PM  
Blogger josh williams said...

Even Murphy understands yen and yang and the need for putang and stuff.

May 14, 2006 8:01 PM  
Blogger Mystical Me said...

Right on!! Sorry you had to go thro all that before you found relief. Take care sweetheart & thanks for the comment. Love always, MM XOXO

May 15, 2006 11:21 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

In the words of Monty Python:

"You luck bastarrd. You lucky . . . lucky . . . bastard!"

May 15, 2006 1:34 PM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Zen Wizard:
Double/inverse Murphy? I agree with that one!

Josh:
It's a known fact that Murphy rarely interferes with people's pootang. ...or maybe that's cause people don't let anything get in the way of their pootang...

Mystical Me:
Your welcome girl, and thank you!

Steve:
I've been dubbed Sir Robin, you know.

May 15, 2006 5:57 PM  
Blogger DaBich said...

Uh..leChite...we're looking for fresh material ;)

May 16, 2006 2:29 AM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Gimme a bit here. I've got a final coming up. :P

May 16, 2006 10:16 PM  
Blogger DaBich said...

Ok! Good luck!!

May 17, 2006 2:44 AM  
Blogger scribe said...

you are a god!

May 17, 2006 4:20 PM  
Blogger YellowSock said...

Jungle Jane sent me over to say that if you don't post soon, Ceiling Cat dies...

Oh, wait, wrong place...

But still, need-new-post.

May 17, 2006 10:15 PM  
Blogger Fuckkit said...

Jammy bugger. Savour this moment, you will pay for it in the grand scheme of things.

*wanders off all cynical*

May 18, 2006 1:39 AM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Dabich:
Thanks ;)

Scribe:
You'd swear divine intervention was involved here... is someome trying to teach me something? hmmm....

Sausage:
Hang on, got finals coming up. I'll have something soon.

Fuckkit:
Oh chite! Am I gonna have to pay for THAT?!

May 18, 2006 7:36 PM  
Blogger Karen Little said...

I once saw a SpongeBob episode with a very similar plot.

So did you add all the missing chunks to your paper? I think the universe knew that your paper was meant to be a work of genius, and couldn't let a silly thing like a deadline interfere.

May 19, 2006 1:55 AM  
Blogger Mone said...

hey, my luck cant rub off one you if you are just sleeping!
Is everything all rigth?

May 19, 2006 5:03 AM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Karen Little:
Genius? Why thank you! You flatter my already overblown ego :) And yes, I did manage to get in most of the missing chunks, and here's the real genius part: I was still missing one whole section and I still got 95% on the paper! That is yet ANOTHER miracle!

Mone:
Sorry about lagging. I have a final coming up :(

May 19, 2006 7:07 PM  
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Sausage again:
Hey! I just checked out Jane's blog! That's not funny! How the heck could you get me confused with Brooke?! I mean, my sexiness is nothing when compared with Brooke's! Sheesh!




:D

May 19, 2006 9:44 PM  

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